Mocking Lays
I stood there. Anticipating. Hoping. Only to find it mocking me. After spending a whole .75, it would not deliver. The vending machine mocked me, flaunting its potato goodness at eyebrow height. One tiny bottom infinitesimal corner- that's all it was held by. The bright yellow sack stood straight out, almost touching the unbreakable plexiglass. I called my coworker to tell her should she call and I am not there, to assume the worst. I had been arrested for kicking the vending machine for mocking me and taking my precious change.
"why haven't you kicked it yet?"
"have you seen me try to kick anything? A praying mantis could kick harder than me."
"heheh. Well... Jerry always beats on it till it drops"
" JML I would be arrested. You can buy the paper that says ' worker arrested in vending machine fight. Machine wins. Worker to pay huge fine'. "
(laughing on the line)
"Not to mention I would probably hurt my hand or something and have to pay the 100.00 copay to be seen in my own ER!"
(more laughing)
" I can see the Dr too.... What happened? I hit the vending machine for mocking me. It wouldn't give me my chips."
(Dr) " no pain killers for you! Go back to work!"
(more laughing and a snort)
"oh I think I heard a thump over there."
"you did?"
"yeah, if it didn't drop, you'll hear me screaming down the hall. Or ill be arrested"
(snickering) " we'll bail you out"
click.
(screaming)
(crying and whining)
(pitiful thumps on plexiglass)
"why haven't you kicked it yet?"
"have you seen me try to kick anything? A praying mantis could kick harder than me."
"heheh. Well... Jerry always beats on it till it drops"
" JML I would be arrested. You can buy the paper that says ' worker arrested in vending machine fight. Machine wins. Worker to pay huge fine'. "
(laughing on the line)
"Not to mention I would probably hurt my hand or something and have to pay the 100.00 copay to be seen in my own ER!"
(more laughing)
" I can see the Dr too.... What happened? I hit the vending machine for mocking me. It wouldn't give me my chips."
(Dr) " no pain killers for you! Go back to work!"
(more laughing and a snort)
"oh I think I heard a thump over there."
"you did?"
"yeah, if it didn't drop, you'll hear me screaming down the hall. Or ill be arrested"
(snickering) " we'll bail you out"
click.
(screaming)
(crying and whining)
(pitiful thumps on plexiglass)
posted by deanneboo75 at 1:00 AM
4 Comments:
Heh. People still keep gliders in cali, just like there was a 5ft tall "plant" outside my exfiancees friends house..in broad daylight. i had to ask what it was >< doh!.. just dont get caught with gliders... btw they have even freaker gliders... the great glider, the squirrel glider.. the rage here is short tailed opossums. freakish rat things (and i like rats) with possum teeth. ow. i'll go back under my rock now...make little cave stick men paintings... ug.
I hate vending machines... they put video cameras on the ones at my work to try and stop people from beating them... Here's a great idea! Scrap the video equipment and get a vending machine that works! If they can't think of that then maybe they should just go home and sew!
By the way this instantly became my favorite blog to read when I say your profile and spelling as a listed hobby (yah right). I am a horrable speller. If the spelling comment wasn't enough, the aliens and mocking vending machine did it.
Its' all about Murphy. Everyday. You can find me today with the sporty white "love-me-jacket" with sleeves that tie in the back. I will be rolling in the mud under my rock (adding color to the jacket)...hoping the aliens don't find me. and wishing for a hammer to get to my salty potato-y goodness...they'll never get one that works...that would defeat their evil plans to win americas funnist home video.
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